We did it, we survived James’s 6 month deployment. He’ll be home on Friday.
Two weeks later, Oliver and I move to melbourne.
Right now I’m feeling really powerful. I know that moving to melbourne is the best thing for us, and I am really looking forward to the next two weeks with my family.
But see, my husband is like a drug to me. The good kind, he’s a very positive influence. But boy oh boy, is he addictive. When I am away from him, well the first few weeks suck! But then I am okay.
When we are together, however, I live in constant fear of him leaving again. Every time he calls me from work I’m convinced he’s calling to tell me his been crash posted and he’s leaving for three months in two weeks (it’s happened before). Or worse, that he’s been posted back to Sydney.
I almost forget to enjoy the beautiful person that he is, and the wonderful relationship we share.
But this time is different, this time I’m in control. I’m calling the shots, I’m the one leaving.
It’s all very empowering and absolutely terrifying!
We also go through a big adjustment period when he gets back, we get a few weeks of joy and then we have to get used to living together again. That sounds really sterile but you’d be surprised how much people change over a few months- particularly when one lives in a large house alone and the other lives in small quarters with tens of other men.
This time, we just get the fun bit. The two weeks of hand holding, smooching, loving and enjoying.
I am really looking forward to it.
Of course I dread saying goodbye to my husband. I dread seeing him say goodbye to Oliver. But I know what I’m doing is for forever, not just until the navy posts us again.
I will control my own life, and I’ll no longer be controlled by a god damned posting order!
It’s all very liberating and empowering, but gosh I wish James was coming with us.
It’s really a very bittersweet time for this household.