D&M

Following my dreams.

I can’t explain how happy I am, I really don’t know how to put it into to words.

That’s pretty unusual for me.

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The last five years feel almost surreal. The cities, lifestyle, the people, the loneliness.

I don’t think my issue was ever the life we lived, because I think we always had a great lifestyle. I think it was because I longed so hard to come home that I felt suspended.

Everything was temporary, and that’s no way to live. I felt like I had to suck the most out of everyday- which I know sounds wonderful- but it was actually really exhausting.

I never knew what tomorrow would bring. I had completely lost my inner sense of stability. Nothing was long term, so what did it really matter.

I tried, but that was how I felt and boy was it draining.

But now, I feel like I can relax. This is it, this is my endgame- Melbourne. Sure I have more goals I’d like to achieve in my future but my future is here.

You have no idea how great that feels.

Last week, we settled on a suburb. Oliver starts school on two years- so unless we completely hate it there it’s more than likely the suburb we’re going to, you know, live out our lives in.

For a navy wife, that’s a huge thing to say.

From all of this, my main lesson has been to follow your dreams. Just jump, it may not be what you expected- but it’s bound to be great!

Have you taken a big jump lately?

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Moving home.

I can’t believe I am finally writing this post, but I am. I  am finally sharing with you all that I am moving home.

It’s terrible timing, James is moving back to Canberra two weeks before we move to Melbourne. But it’s also the best timing, why?

Because the time is now.

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At the start of the year, as many of you know, my white picket Canberra life was shattered when James was posted down to Melbourne for six months. We finally got a land posting after two terrible years in Sydney, and after being here for 12 months that stability was taken from us again. It was then I truly realised something that deep down I always knew, stability and the ADF will never co-exist. Whilst James is in the Navy, we will never have a stable life style. We will never truly have a home.

I found myself living in a constant state of fear. Instead of looking forward to James getting back, I was counting down the days until his posting in Canberra was over and our life could be shaken up again. He was granted a 12 month posting back to Canberra, instead of being relieved I worked out how close Oliver would be to school before this posting was up, and found myself losing sleep over where he would go to school, if I would find work, and if James would even be around.

I was losing my ability to enjoy the little things.

Since James moved to Melbourne I had started applying for ‘dream jobs’. I applied for three jobs in total. About three weeks ago I got a call from one of these jobs. After a trip down to Melbourne, an interview on four hours sleep, and a few reference checks I secured myself a one of these dream jobs in Melbourne.

I start two weeks after James gets back, which downright sucks. But we are trying not to let it get us down. I feel like this could be my forever job, and Melbourne has always been our forever town. James is my forever partner, so even though we may not be able to be together now I know that this is where I am supposed to be. And I know as soon as he can move to Melbourne, he will. And I know that once he does get there, I will never ever let him go again- and neither will Oliver.

Today, I filled out Oliver’s new daycare enrolment form and I was filling out the emergency contacts section. At his current day care, he has me. That’s it. At his new daycare in Melbourne the sheet was full and I could have added more. Filling out that form almost bought a tear to my eye.

And that’s why I am moving home. I have done this Navy wife thing for 5 years. I love my husband more than words can ever explain, but it’s time for me to take control.

I’m jumping into Melbourne, and whilst a huge part of me is terrified and apprehensive, the rest of me is ready to fall into my huge network of support  waiting for me in Melbourne.

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