D&M

Saying goodbye…

I’ve become so good at saying goodbye, that it’s actually really bad.

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I remember getting pretty drunk with a few people that I would consider my closest friends here in Canberra, and finding myself thinking ‘I could walk away and never see any of these people again and not be sad about it!’
But that fact alone made me really sad.

There are a few people who I really enjoy being around, and I suppose yeah, I will miss them. There’s one who I feel a bit heavy hearted about leaving, we’re kindred spirits- but I know they’ll visit plenty.

We leave in three days. I’m not feeling sad at all. Even the thought of leaving my husband behind doesn’t make me too sad- I think primarily due to some great news we received last week but I’m not allowed to share just yet!

I hope moving back to Melbourne means I no longer have to think about the end. Being a navy wife has always meant that everything was temporary, and that I was temporary.

In three days I will be home, and I will never have to be temporary again.

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D&M, Parenting, Uncategorized

Keep calm and navy wife on

You know what I hate, what I really fucking hate?

When my husband gets posted away and people tell me well you chose this lifestyle.

No, actually, I fell in love with a man who has a job, and believes in his job, and loves his job.

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Today, James found out he will be spending half of next year down in Melbourne on a training course. Sure, it could be worse, it could be The Gulf- or Sydney. But see, Oliver and I won’t be joining him. It’s part choice, part obligation. They won’t move us, he is moving back here at the end of it, I love my job.

Queue panic attack, it really sucks!

A lot of people seem to think that because my husband is in the navy, I should be okay with this, it’s to be expected after all. No, I’m not. I’m sad, I’m stressed. I have to go it alone for six-whole-months! I didn’t choose this. I didn’t want this. I just love him.

I’m not okay with it. I’m not a super hero. I’m not stronger than any other wife head over heals in love with her husband. I just don’t have a goddamn choice.

My heart breaks for Oliver, his father is his best mate. He will miss him so much. They will miss each other so fiercely.

We’ll be okay. This time I am going to ask for help, I’m not going through what I went through in Sydney again. We’ll try and see him every weekend. We’ll get through, and I know we’ll be all the stronger for it, we always are.

But it still sucks!

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